http://www.darevol.com My Elation My Damnation My Purification Sun, 16 Mar 2008 16:49:56 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en So alot of the people that I have talk to that quit, say it is the hardest thing they've ever done. It feels that way to me. I have slipped up 2 days, not a whole pack just here and there on 2 different days. The thing ... http://www.darevol.com/2008/03/16/not-smoking/ It seemed like a very long day while it was happening. Here I am 830 at night and I wish my day could just start over from now. I had a pysciatrist appointment at 10am. I left the house at about 9 thinking I could stop at ... http://www.darevol.com/2008/03/05/okie-dokie-non-smokie/ Well well well... It has been almost a year since i've blogged here. I had started writing in my diary again instead. Not sure what picking this back up will bring. Hopefully more of a variety of things then before. I went back and re read ... http://www.darevol.com/2008/03/01/back-in-action/ What do you do When you're all alone I wonder how bear feels now All alone Do you think he feels the emptyness Do you think his thoughts are bleak Doesn't look like it Looks like hes just fine swimming all alone now in the tank But I must say then when Goldie died he acted ... http://www.darevol.com/2007/05/01/294/ well i don't know what to say. Im miserable, everything is going to shit and its not getting better. Everytime it looks hopefull everything comes crashing down. Im trying to make it through everyday, mike and i got in a big fight last night, he can never ... http://www.darevol.com/2007/05/01/293/ So i have decided that this weekend is going to be full of ups and downs, decisions and indecision. I went on the bpd fourm, i forget the name of it, and it made me feel better. So then i talked to the girl at work and ... http://www.darevol.com/2007/04/28/hmm/ Im trying so hard not to cry. I don't know what im going to do when i go home and the house is empty. I don't know. Im so scared and sad and i can't even tell him, it wouldn't be fair to him. I don't ... http://www.darevol.com/2007/04/27/trying/ How am i going to get through this weekend im already thinking so irrationaly. Im scared. http://www.darevol.com/2007/04/27/how/ Oh and my fish died this morning :( Sun... my favorite one :( poop http://www.darevol.com/2007/04/26/poor-sun/ The mason thing in AC was good but i think i have the after vacation blues. My stomach is all messed up too. Last week i was soooo hyper and had racing thoughts, this week im really down. hmm... i have to get that blood work done ... http://www.darevol.com/2007/04/26/vaca-back-to-work/