When Enough is Enough

Well we got into a fight about something work related…now im super anxious and can’t let it go. I asked him to take me home after work today because now im really not in the mood to go to Al’s house. I just want to go home and lay on the couch and be by myself. I never want to be by myself so i must be mad….hurt too. I tried to call my brother to see if he could take me home but his phone was going right to voicemail so i guess hes working…oh well. I feel so sick now. I want to get over it i just don’t know how. Maybe by the time he comes home tonight i will. I have to i can’t stay mad forever. I just won’t talk on the way home, i don’t want another fight to start.
I went over lynn and dons last night, it was nice to see them. Then i went home, made some cigarettes for today and went to bed. Mike wasn’t home yet….so i was sleeping but not. I rarley can fall into a deep sleep when hes not home…its usually a very light disturbed sleep, i can still hear everything going on around me and stuff. I wonder if he will be late tonight…. sometimes he stays there for hours…im sure they will have dinner together and i will have to eat by myself , if i even eat. Im still stuffed from lunch. Im sure lunch isn’t helping the sick feeling. Stuffing a cheesesteak and cheese fries down my face doesn’t seem like that good of an idea anymore.
I have off tomorrow and have to work on Dreamweaver, although it makes me want to flip out i have to learn it. Im just not focused or disciplined enough to teach myself and mike doesn’t get that. I keep telling him im having problems and he just says figure it out. I swear sometimes he thinks im like him. I don’t know, i’ll do the best i can, but im not good at stuff like this. He keeps telling me hes going to give me files or have me do a blog but never does. He never shows me anything at night either. I can understand hes too busy during the day to show me, but we can at night.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH everything is always overwhelming to me what is my problem. I stress out about everything, give myself headaches and belly aches, not to mention the anxiety.
Yey thats my day for today fun fun fun

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on February 22nd, 2007