When Enough is Enough

Damn today sucks, i guess its pms, thats what im blaming this horrible mood on. Im miserable and don’t feel like sitting in this hot office anymore today. I just want to go home, i don’t want to go to ceramics tonight, i just want to go home. But i have to, so i will. But i’d rather be miserable in my own house.
What to do what to do. Im going blind from reading stories, my eyes need a break for a bit. I wish my boss would just leave. Not that it really matters, hes not bothering me or anything. I wish i could sit in mikes office and talk to him, but a. im not allowed and b. mike would kill me because i wouldn’t shut up. In 45 min i’ll go smoke, i guess thats the next thing i have to look forward to.
Mike and I were talking about her, and he said he wonders if she thinks about him or has regrets or anything. I didn’t mind at first and was asking him more questions, but now im upset about it. Now im worried hes thinking about her all day. Its just because im in a bad mood though. It wouldn’t normally upset me. Right now everything and anything is upsetting me. Im so anxious. Fuck now i can’t stop thinking about him and her together omg im so angry. Her and the other girl. I hate her guts now and besides being a flirty asshole she didn’t do anything wrong. But i still hate her. And the lack of trust is huge. Now i feel like a piece of shit. Im making myself worse i swear. Once i get in my head theres no turning back, it just gets worse and worse. I want to cry now so bad, but i can’t do that at work ever again unless i really can’t help it because something horrible happened, but im not going to cry ever again at work for no reason, its so embarassing.
2 more hours. The lady in this office we’re sharing keeps the heat up to 80!!!!!! She left and we turned it down but OMG its so hot, and i wore a sweatshirt today cause i wanted to be comfy, that was a dumb idea. I’ve been in a bad mood all day, ever since mike made us late talking to the neighbors. I was anxious then.
Mike is going to a mason dinner with our friends without me, he didn’t tell me it was on a friday, and i said i’d go apparently even though i don’t remember that. So great. Woo Hoo. I can’t wait till he has to do something and i go do something else he wants to do without him. He wouldn’t even care. Its just me that cares. Its always me that cares. Im tired of it.

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on February 20th, 2007