When Enough is Enough

Today i went to the bank, the the pharmacy, and am doing laundry. I also had a pot and a half of coffe, that might have something to do with it. But as i got dressed, kinda dressed, still in passable pj pants and a big coat to cover my shouldn’t go outside in shirt, i was anxious. The little voice in the back of my head kept saying you can’t do this you can’t do this. But yet, i pressed on. I didn’t get the whole desired effects i wanted from it. I couldn’t change my address at the bank because my license is still the same, i thought a piece of mail would of been sufficent. But i still can’t change that because of the divorce…. but when that goes through i will be able to change everything and finally keep track of what address is on what. I can’t wait for that day. Things won’t change much once the papers do come through besides some relief and address changes. Before it meant the world to me, but now that i live here its a minor detail. Funny how that is. Good thing i didn’t have to wait for it to be final before i lived here or else i’d still be at my mothers.

I really think that talk mike and i had kinda straightened me up if you will….. didn’t do anything but give me motivation and a reminder that im working on changing. Maybe today i will do some of my poetry.

I sent another letter out to my sister today. I hope she gets them one day after another and not all at once, i don’t have much to say in them, if i had my books here i would look for bible verses. Maybe monday i will go to the store and look for a book of quotes, something to give her to cheer her up. I hope shes ok, i pray shes adjusting. You never really adjust to those places you just settle in and get used to the fact that you have to be there. Eventually you realize its for the best. But you’re always home sick for your family and for freedom. I don’t know how it is at her place, how much they let them go outside. All i can say is good thing she doesn’t smoke one less thing to worry about LOL. Trivial things that were on my mind. But shes a strong woman and i know she will not only survive but will succeed. I pray that anyway. I will keep writing her. Hopefully something interesting will happen in my life that i can write about. I should send her a christmas card soon.

I have to wait for my next check before i can buy the kids presents. Im only going to be geting 300 something a week i guess thats not that much less then i was making. I just wish the checks came weekly. That would help considering christmas time. But i decided instead of bonds for the kids im going to get them a visa gift card that i can buy right at the bank, and get them right away instead of waiting. It costs the same amount of money but especially Nathan i think would like that better, and Jamie. MG and Danielle can use it for whatever they need for willow. But i need that check.

I don’t have much else to say im just waiting for the laundry but i feel like talking and everybody is busy at work so i don’t have anyone to talk to which is driving me crazy…im hyper and want to chat!!!!! I have to get used to being on my own anyway. So thats it for now.

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on December 15th, 2006