When Enough is Enough

Well I went to see Amy on Monday, not sure if i wrote about this…but i cried through the whole thing and she told me to call Erin, so i went there yesturday, i also went to my neurologist in the morning.

The neurologist went well, my MRI was fine, he gave me a script for the ADD medicine and some Lunesta sleeping pills. So if i need them i have them. Last night i slept like a baby though with out any medicine.

Erin said that I have PMDD, but the goodness is the Paxil im taking is one of the medinces they use for that, so she just increased it to the next dosage. its not my bipolar, because my period is pretty much over and im happy as ever finally. So yey! I don’t have to take another medicine. And she did change my xanax perscription to 1 or 2 a day. Which will help me when i take over the store in september. I will only take the 2nd one if i need to.

Im going over Dinyels tonight at like 10 or so maybe a little later, and we will stay up until about midnight. Im so excited to see her, now that she doesn’t have off on Fridays it will be harder to hang out with her. She told me i could sleep over, thats good to know just incase i can’t drive home from smoking or if i get really tired, we’ll see how i feel. We have to be up around the same time anyway i think. Im so excited though, i love our girl time.

I feel so great today, very tired and groggy this morning i woke up at 9, just enough time to through on clothes and leave, mike took a shower, and i said i couldn’t because i would be late, i forgot the one boss that i have to watch out for wouldn’t be here today…im totally regretting now not taking a shower with him…plus goodness i needed one, ill take one tonight before i go over dinyels.

Im listening to Bee 101.1 and writing the songs down that i love and would like to put on a cd, thats pretty much all im doing at work right now. heheheheeeee…. oh well, i have a half hours worth of work to do thats it. I should go to the pharmacy during lunch… but i think …let me check to see how many i have left… i have to go tomorrow, i keep forgetting today is thursday, so if i dont feel like going to lunch i don’t have to yey!!! I hate going to the pharmacy durning lunch. Well i hate leaving for lunch anymore anyway. I just get comfortable in my chair and don’t feel like moving hahhahaha…. even though im bored i still don’t want to leave, oh wait shit today might be PJ’s day mike wanted it yesturday and said we’ll go today instead… oh well i’ll just get an appetizer or nothing. Just a drink. That would be funny i’ll get a rum and coke or something. Be bad for once since the major boss isn’t here, and i never have to talk to the other one. Its just one drink anyway but will be fun to be bad lol,,,, or maybe a long island ice tea. HAHAHHAHAHAHHAA now im thinking all bad things and want to be a rebel, after all i will be here all alone until 530. I just told mike i wanted one and then come back and eat my fruit hahahah im curious to see what he says. LOL .

So i talked to my brother, and we’re pretty much in the same position, our lives are great besides our mother. Shes the thorn in our side. My brother asked me if i was happy with Mike and I said yes more happy then i’ve ever been . I said that he was great with me when im bad and even when im not hes great. But i should of told him i loved him because he stays his own person. hahahha i called him back to tell him and he said he already knew that. LOL LOL i should of known he said he knows thats a turn on for me. he knows me better than i think. We never get to see each other much anymore…. but i have to start picking a night where i go over there after all i do have a new niece. We’ll see…im bad with sticking to plans like that. Bad with going other places, i don’t mind when people come to me but i hate going to people, except dinyel.

Damien and I have a whole thing planned out that hes going to get on camera…its going to be for mike. its going to be something crazy, may take a while, i know it will but i want it done in time for either when his divorce goes through for good or for christmas…. i have to work out the details. HAHAHAHHAHAHAA it will be a video letter basically try a different medium. I think it will be fun, plus damien is fun. I like hanging out with him and chatting with him….speaking of friends

I hope Mike comes online today, i like to talk to him once a day just to say hi and see what hes up to…its fun, hes such an amazing person … it makes me happy to talk with him.

I am so lucky and i realize it, i finally have a few real friends in my life. Mike (my boyfriend) is my bestest friend ever, and the rest are my cloest friends. Theres a difference but a good one. I’ve found people who care and i care about them and we all stay in touch and it seems like i help them and they help me and they give me somthing more to my life, new perspectives and ideas and inspiration and love, im so joyfull for this. My life seems to be coming together. I can see that when im happy, but this past week i couldn’t see that at all, i again thought mike hated me and all that, i was a mess but maybe now i’ll keep being stable .

Well thats it for now i guess. I have to call and make my car payment soon…next time mike wants to go out and smoke i’ll go get it. Weird the boss hasn’t gone to lunch, i wonder if that means he is leaving early….even if he does im still sticking with staying until 530, my worry is that he has me on his personal computer on icq and can see if im off. I really don’t want to take advantage of them, plus i’ll i’ll be doing is chatting with everyone, cause they’ll all be around and home So whats the big deal, plus traffic is lighter.
Oh yes thats right i was going to go for now, im just blabbering on. I guess i dont have much to say now. byes for now

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on October 28th, 2006