When Enough is Enough

So my blog was down for a bit
So much to say
Im in Erins waiting room - again
They switched my xanax to ativan
So she wanted to check up on me in one week
Im looking at my job in a certain way
A different way
Actually not only at work but in life
Its a calmer happier life
Getting things done makes me feel better
Although I also know I can only do my
Best in every aspect of my life
This is a new change for me
Im so in love it makes life easier to handle
I figured out
Friends
Lossing some but getting closer to the others
The only thing I am struggling with besides growing up and finding myself
Is my family
Hardships
Resentments
Grudges
An aching feeling in my heart just popped up since it was brought up
Wonder why hahahaha
At night I loose steam- i just want to relax
But at the same time i feel bad and guilty
That things aren’t getting done
I want to make myself happy and Mike happy
So I went to a Masons function last night
I realized alot
I realized I would never join Eastren Star
After seeing what I saw last night
Made me decide to just stick to supporting Mike and his Masons
Helping when they need me too
Going to functions whether they are somewhere else
Or at our house for football
BTW Go Eagles
Mike bought me an Eagles hoodie and a regular jersey
Love it
So sweet of him
Im next in line as soon as this last appointment comes out
I go in
I feel like after that weekend talking
To my brother and Mike
With the ephiany
It didn’t go away
its still here and im still working hard to get to where i need to be
I know it will take time
Im so thankful for the loving suport i get from Mike
My friends
And siblings
I worry about money but you know what i can’t make it appear
And i’ve left the thought of that happening
Makes it much more manageable
Everything in time
And considering im for the most part content
I can handle time
I used to want to die so bad
I would pray for the Lord to take me
I even prayed for cancer-anything
I guess God had other plans for me
Andi am grateful for that
Deeply
I’ve come from hell
To a beautiful place
Next God willing in his time
Heaven
People are interesting
Life is beautiful

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on September 23rd, 2006