When Enough is Enough

Amy had me write down 10 things I can do to avoid a break down. And Mike wants me to write a list of things I have to live for. So I will do both and give it to Amy and keep some copies for myself.

1. To make my life everything I want it to be.
2. For the little things that you see everyday that fills your heart with joy.
3. For love that is everlasting
4. For my future, I want a family
5. For the family I have now, it would put them through so much pain
6. To not go to Hell
7. Is it bad I can’t really think of anything else
8. To prove to myself how strong I am
9. To be a famous painter one day
10. To help other people and make a differnence in thier lives

That is what I came up with. Number 2 covers a lot. Everything in the world I love, that could be a long list of things, but you get the point. You have everything to live for. Stop and think about what you’re doing to yourself. Just to avoid some pain that will pass, is it really worth loosing your life, for forever. The pain won’t last forever, but death will. You won’t get married and have kids like you want. You won’t get to experince the joy of the little things, like geese, and ducks, and flowers, and rain, and the sun, and the feeling you get in the morning when you have a cup of coffee and smoke a cigarette, you won’t have the joy of sleeping on the couch with mike and him waking you up and helping you upstairs to go to bed next to him, you won’t have the chance to write, to help others, you won’t be able to save your family from pain and distruction. There are so many things to live for, the pain passes and it will ….in a hour you will feel better, by the next day you will feel perfect. It is worth it. The pain is worth it, to see and experience the good days. You can do this, you have to. Just pray…pray to God for serenity and turn your pain and fears over to Him. Feel his love and know that even if you loose everything in your life and everyone, You will still have God’s love and yourself.

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on May 31st, 2006