When Enough is Enough

i finished my work, and i still have two and a half hours to go . Oh my gosh, its just giving me time to dwell. And i have an appointment with Dr. Grosso today, and i really don’t want to go to that. I just want to be home cleaning and stuff. Packing getting things in order. Sitting here is killing me and so will going to the appointment. But i need all my scripts for my meds, and i can’t afford another cancellation fee…. this is horrible. I just want to be home so bad. I think when im done cleaning and stuff im going to smoke a cigar…but maybe i shouldn’t because of the smell. maybe when i go to mike’s tonight i will. I have to do laundry today too. So much to do. Sitting here feels like the biggest waste of time. I could try and move my appointment until tomorrow, but i don’t know. Maybe i will do that. or should i just go tonight. UGHH im calling to see if they can change it. I hope they can….but if not then i will just go i guess. No one is answering so maybe its a sign. I will just go tonight….i won’t want to go tomorrow either so whats the differnce. I just feel so stuck, this is the worst feeling ever, i want to write in here for the next 2 hours so i don’t go crazy. I just feel like going home, i can’t stress that enough. What do i do…oh what do i do. I will suck it up thats what i will do. i will go to my appointment, not leave early here, i will get through it and be home soon enough. I don’t believe any of what i just said but theres no other option. I have to stick through this, this is a situation that i can not control. Going to make coffee brb.
I didn’t eat lunch again today, and im regretting it,im munching on popcorn at the moment. Maybe i will go to taco bell after work, i feel like eating cheesy meat. I’ll have to see how much money i have, i’ll look now. OK i have enough money…I will either buy taco bell, if i feel like driving there after work, or i will just eat tuna. I do have chips, i’ll save the money for tomorrow’s lunch and just eat tuna tonight when i get home, maybe even make some mac and cheese spoil myself!!! Oh i can’t wait to get home, im calling the dr’s office again. I am so bad. If they don’t answer this time im not calling back. They answered and i am trying to get an appiontment for friday. Im going at 315 on friday. I got an appoinment at 3 on friday , so im taking the day off from work, because my landlord is coming in the morning anyway. So thats great!!! everything will be ok everything will be ok everything will be ok, thats what i have to tell myself.
less than 2 hours to go, i can do this…… im waiting for 20 more min before i go outside and smoke again, i wish i could stand out there all day…. oh well i don’t even have anything else to write, im just typing so i have something to do.
i miss mike i didn’t sleep over there the past 2 days and hes sick and didn’t come to work today, so now i miss him. I hope the bosses leave early, now wouldn’t that be a treat. they sound busy though so i doubt they will. that would be ideal though. i hope it happens, then i can be outside as much as i want to . Damn them being busy and doing work, who do they think they are honestly. I can’t sit still, this sucks, im whining in this whole thing. Mike never got back on icq, wonder what hes doing. I hope hes feeling better. I guess i’ll go but i still have a little over a hour and a half to go. BORED OUT OF MY MIND

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on May 17th, 2006