When Enough is Enough

Well lets see since I AGAIN fell asleep before writing in my blog last night I will start with yesturday afternoon to evening.
I was supposed to go to my mom’s to dinner…. I told her before i had to do work that night. And she still said we’ll have dinner then go up to the hospital to visit danielle MG and the baby. I said I told her before that I couldn’t do that. I said now I’m having anxiety and don’t want to come to dinner because I didn’t want to take it out on her. She said you’ve been mean to me for years why should now be any different. I let it go. I don’t know why, maybe i just didn’t feel like arguing because I know anything I would of said would just go in one ear and out the other. She would of denied all responsibility and made herself seem like an angel….I just didn’t feel like dealing with that so I just said fine we’ll do it monday. UGGHH….she doesn’t hurt me really, not that i know of anyway…I can never tell if I just put up walls and pretend like it doesn’t hurt or if it really doesn’t. But what I do know, is that she pisses me off. I get more angry than anything I think, she just can’t see the truth, she can’t see her own flaws and won’t admit to anything, and she says hurtful mean things all the time and I can’t stand it. So that happened and it took me a little while to calm down. I was talking to Mike (my friend Mike), Mike (my boyfriend), and Dinyel over icq so that helped.
Then I went to Mike’s house after he got home from work…. I sat outside and did my work, then he cooked us dinner on the grill, we took an amazing shower if you get my drift, then i worked some more and went to bed. So i had a good day except for my mother….but I was normal i’d say so i will fill out my mood chart that way. I decided when something outside triggers my mood change I will write them down separate from the mood chart so i can talk to amy about it instead of the pysciatrist. If it has to do with my meds and headaches I’ll write it on the mood chart. So thats my plan.
But we’re leaving today after work to go away and i’m so happy nothing could ruin my mood! lol! I will bring my laptop so I can write my blogs in microsoft word then transfer them over when i get back. But even though I’m away I’m still going to stick with my routine. We’re leaving work early the latest is 3, Mike is going to call the boss (which neither of them are at work today…its actually just mike and I hahahhaa) to see if we can leave any earlier since we are going away….I talked to the store i list for to let them know i might be leaving earlier than 330 which is the time i’m supposed to do work for them until, and the manager said he would keep it between us…so that was nice!!!!!!!!! I’m so excited!! I can’t wait to see what this vacation is going to be like…we just have to be back in time on sunday for me to work thats all.
I’m going to go smoke…..HAHAH mike asked me to go to wawa to get us lunch but i said no because i don’t even want lunch and wasnn’t going to go with him anyway, i would just get a granola bar….is that mean??? I’m just feeling especially lazy today. Oh well….Im hyper and lazy all at the same time, I said that to mike the same day and said isn’t that weird, his response was have you ever met yourself LOL LOL LOL …..maybe i’m already in vacation mode….relaxed yet excited, yeah excited is a better word to describe it instead of hyper. Im relaxed and excited.
I did one of the stats already only have one to go and some listing if they put stuff in there before I leave. I can’t wait to find out what time we get to leave.
Mike just told me hes signing the divorce papers on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!! YEY it was supposed to be today but we’re going away so now its Tuesday…I don’t care when as long as its soon, like real soon LOL, I told my friend Vicki I was having a divorce party no matter what mike says. I told him that and he laughed ahahhahahaahaaaa……i’ll be so happy, not that i’m not happy now, it will just be so much easier, we won’t have a thing in the world to worry about….lol.
I guess i’ll go now and see if theres work to do….im so chatty in the mornings thank goodness I have this blog so I don’t annoy the shit out of Mike today lol…..YEY IM GOING AWAY FINALLY!!!!

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on April 21st, 2006