When Enough is Enough

Yey!!!! Last night i got a call to go to the hospital, the baby was being born! It is a beautiful beautiful baby girl…Willow!!! omg it was so amazing! i got to hold her twice. It was amazing! I’ve never seen my brother so happy in my entire life, except when he looks at his other daughter Jamie. There is just something that lights up his eyes, its so crazy to see… makes me so happy and feels so good . I’m so happy for them. It was a quick delivery, within a hour it happened, she said she only had to push for 10 min…amazing! I hope mine is like that lol!
When i got the call, i called my mom, of course she started her shit..omg seriously… is it necessary. She was like come pick me up …. i told her no that i was all the way in woodbury. She was like what do you know that i don’t … all this crazy stuff she just kept calling and calling. She annoyed the shit out of me in the hospital too….it was like war of the mothers between danielle’s mom and my mom when we were waiting to go in there to see them. Of course my mom intigated it all. It made a wonderful time stressful. Ron came up behind me when i was standing there and grabbed my shoulders or something like that it freaked me out i ducked away. Then when i was sitting down and holding the baby my mom was right behind me…it was freaking me out too, i asked her to move back, she got all pissy. I don’t like to feel crowded like that, especially by them. Mike wound up being able to come up, i wanted him to go so he could keep me calm because i knew my mom would be weird, but he missed all that but did make it in time to see willow!! I was so happy he got to share that moment with everyone. Because one day when shes a teenager, he can say i was there the day you were born
So again I fell alseep without writing in here, then again i fell asleep by accident when i got home i just went to lay on mike’s bed to pet the cats, next thing i know im asleep. Mike came up to make sure i was undressed and in bed properly. I remember him holding me to situate me up to the pillow… he made me feel so good, so taken care of…so….loved.
But i had a good day yesturday…. I got a headache when i went over mikes and got in a bad mood, sensitive, this is the second time a headache started a bad mood. I’ll note that on the mood chart. It may be normal, but i don’t know. But i calmed down and we ate dinner, i got half way through and thats when i got the call, so then i just went there and fell asleep when i got home. I didn’t get everything accomplished yesturday that i wanted to but i will today. I took off from work, told them that the baby was coming today, so that i could finish my kitchen, finish my bathroom, go to the bank do all that. Right now im laying on the couch watching my shows then i will get moving, i should be done my coffee by then. i didn’t take my medicine last night until 2am, so i was really really tired this morning. And then mike and i got in a conversation how you fall in and out of love in a relationship because of something on jerry springer. I told him you should never tell a BPD person that or else thats all they will think and worry about lol. But im going to do my best not to dwell on that. Take it day by day i have to remember that.
So we figured out we’ve been together for a year in a way now. Before it was “ok” we started kissing and stuff about now….But since it was “ok” its been 9 months. But still, its only getting better. I will write more later today im sure. I have to go to my moms for dinner so i will need to write tonight lol. I have to do work tonight from home. Mike goes over his ex’s tonight to sign the papers, im sure it will go ok because they are really civil. I don’t think it bothers me when they see each other. I guess i get a little jealous but nothing too bad, i know he loves me and wouldn’t go back with her. I hope shes not too upset when they sign the papers he said she cried when they settled on the house. But Mike thinks she is seeing his friend…she said he doesn’t care that shes seeing someone but that fact that he thinks it is his friend who is also his business partner, and the person didn’t let him know, hes upset about the fact they’re lying and his friend never said anything. I don’t know Mike said there is a code or soemthing …you’re supposed to ask if your friends if the person that was the ex cares. Weird i don’t know but anyway….

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on April 20th, 2006