When Enough is Enough

I’ve realized i have been drinking too much. when i start at 1030 in the morning and can’t stop, when i drink before work and don’t care. I finally made a descision that this can’t go on….. I don’t want to loose all the happiness i worked so hard to achieve. I told Mike, Desiree, and Dinyel, even my brother and sister. The only person i’m not telling is my mom, i really don’t feel like hearing what she has to say about it. All she’ll say is that she was right and if i do drink again on special occasions she will flip out. So i think its best to leave her out of this.
I saw Erin today i told her about it too, that desiree is taking me to a meeting. I don’t know how many i am going to go to, but i need atleast one wake up call. Im curious how im going to feel about it. I wish i wasn’t sitting here alone right now. I really do. I have to clean and can’t i should do work but don’t want to. I even called Kareem twice to see if he would keep me company but he didn’t answer. Desiree is not online, neither is mike or dinyel
I contacted my sister i haven’t talked to in 6 years over email. She emailed me, i emailed her back, and now i’ve heard nothing. I don’t know if i scared her away. I also don’t know if i was ready to do that.
I feel so desparate right now, i wish i could drink i dumped all of my wine this morning, and im thinking about going out somewhere but know i can’t . I just wish someone was here with me. But no one can be. Everyone is working or won’t answer thier phone. I guess i will just have to fight this on my own.

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on April 5th, 2006