When Enough is Enough

So i went to the funeral yesturday for my great aunt. It was weird to see all these people I was related to and not know who they were. My brother did know some of them, others i don’t even think he knew. I don’t remember any of them today except 2 of them. It was surreal. I didn’t really cry, I teared up during the ceramony at the end when they wheeled the casket down the aisle. I thought of my father but it wasn’t overwhelming. I don’t know what that means. My mom was …well…my mom. Talking about things that didn’t matter in that situation, eyes all red, things like that. It went better with her than i had expected. She didn’t fall or start screaming or anything crazy, thats always a plus. I am at work, tennichally on my lunch break. I’m waiting for mike to get done what he is doing so we can go to wawa, we’re both poor. My check engine light is on in my car, his brother is going to look at it today after work. I hope it is nothing too expensive, and nothing that will take a while to fix. I hope i don’t have to bring it to the dealership. And if i do, i hope it is covered under warrenty. I was finally getting back on my feet finacially, then this happened. Oh well.
I’ve been thinking alot about God latley…….how i want to have a better, closer relationship with him, but for some reason it is hard for me, maybe i just lack the discipline. I think that is it. I mean i try to do the right thing and all…and i pray to him and when i do, i feel better….but i don’t know im lost and confused. Hopefully it will turn out ok. Thats what i’ve been saying about everything latley though.
I am trying to do one thing at a time but i feel like i am not getting anywhere because i don’t know how to get there. Oh well…im hungry and hope mike hurries up, hes on the phone with the new owner of our store though talking about laptops and such so that means he had to stop what hes doing, which means we’re never going.
I left work a little early on Monday because my mom sounded really bad so i went to be with her but i fell asleep instead, she was pissed. Oh well. I tried. I was falling asleep while i was driving, i had to take a quick nap before i drove again. She didn’t understand. When we went to the viewing that night the first thing she said to me when i saw her was how was your nap all nasty like. I said i didn’t go home and sleep i went home and worked. she has issues, it doesn’t make me sad, it pisses me off. I guess i should go and “work”.
I don’t know why i am so tired, i really don’t but it is making staying awake at work very hard.

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on January 18th, 2006