When Enough is Enough

The past couple of days i have either forgot to or took my meds late. I think it is messing me up. I feel really weird…kinda depressed. I’m so tired, although i slept and slept well. I am dreading every day that i have to work, and every day that i have to think about all the work i have to do and hate myself for not being able to do it. It really bothers me. I don’t know how i am going to be good at this job if i can’t get anything accomplished. If i didn’t have this johns manville thing i would be perfectly capable of handling everything. But i am not…and i do have it. I miss him. I wish i wasn’t alone right now…i wish i had a choice, but i don’t . I have to clean but can’t. He is at his brother’s and then the game is on at 4 and he has stuff to do , i don’t want to bug him. I don’t understand why i just can’t be productive and do stuff and be happy and clean, and paint. Instead im depressed and really lonley. Oh well i don’t really have a choice, i may as well somehow get off of my ass and do stuff.

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on December 11th, 2005