When Enough is Enough

Ok so last night i went over mikes house i wasn’t going to stay the night, i went over there to do work actually. but i had a glass of Arbor Mist wine hahahaha ok maybe 2 and a half, and i fell asleep on his couch after i was done working then was too tired to drive home, so i didn’t take my risperdal, and i stoped the stupid abilify so wtf, no wonder why i can’t flipping concentrate!!!
Oh well, im writing in here instead of working because i can’t do my work, seriously i have sooo many thoughts going through my head, i don’t even know what they are anymore. I am anxious and i forgot the xanax, i always forget everything i hate it. I see Amy tonight, so that should help a little. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH i have so much to do, im going to go see Amy, then Mike and I are going to Sams so that i can get some stuff for Nathan and my sister and her husband, plus i need coffee for the mornings . I want them to be able to have stuff and not go out and spend money. Plus i will eat whatever they dont. Oh and i have to go to my mom’s house too. Shit shit shit…..oh well i will do it , i feel like i am having drug withdrawl or something crazy , its so overpowering and all i can think about.
I was emailing a friend and i was talking about whether I just really need the anxiety medicine, which i know i do, but i dont want to get addicted to it at the same time.
I wonder if work wonders why i am typing so much on my laptop, im trying not to type loud but these damn nails make it so hard. Oh well, there is only one boss today here and there is only 20 min left in the day. I kinda wish i didn’t have the appointment
hahah the boss just left and have me a funny look cause im slumped in my chair with my laptop on my lap….oh well, who cares….not me nope not me for once…..ahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Atleast im not bugging everyone else in the office anymore that is trying to actually do work, so yeah i wish i didn’t have to go see Amy cause i would really like to go get my meds .
one thing at a time, its just going to be a long night thats all, good thing i have the energy.
Mike doesn’t read my blog.
Should i be upset about that. i don’t know. i guess i kinda see his point. i don’t though i kinda have hurt feelings about it for some reason,
Mike just showed me the tralior for the davinci code it looks soooooooo good wow i love that book, i love everything that has to do with art,
so yeah i dont know why it bothers me, i guess i tell him everything anyway and he doesn;t need to read what i just told him, oh well maybe i am just being really sensitive for some reason, he is busy and it is bothering me because i want to goof off and not work and he is working and he is distant now instead of me cause he has a lot to do. i am just enjoying hitting the keys at this point. I will clean really well tonight atleast.
Well we are leaving here in 10 min so i guess i will shut everything down now. bye

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on November 21st, 2005