When Enough is Enough

Life or death
It really is
Oh my it hurts
How do you make it stop
How do i make this lump in my throat disapear
How do i make the everlasting pain in my stomach
Stop
Stop
Stop the thoughts
Stop the agony
Why can’t i live
Free and clear
Without having to drown my fears
Alcohol
I’ll throw up
My test is tomorrow its not an option
Pills
I’m scared I will take it too far
Knock myself out but in the end
I’ll always be afraid to wake up
Scratch
That would be nice
Except for the fact that i want to rip and tear
And cut and bleed
I want to take it all too far
The pain is extreme
I feel as though the cure must be
I can’t take it
I can’t be a real person
I want to live
I want to die
All at the same time
I feel so stuck
I don’t know what to do
This
Writing here
Is the only thing saving me
Call out for help
I can’t
Drive myself to Hampton
I wish
No one thinks im that bad
But i know
Deep down
Its only going to get worse
It really is
Wednesday I go back
And Wednesday I will break
If not sooner
Why can’t I just get help
Cat is looking at me
With fear
He knows
He knows everything
I can’t ask for his help
He is with her
Damn her for everything
Damn everyone for everything
They don’t know
They have no idea
How hard and life threatning this moment really is
It hurts so bad
How do i make it stop
Someone just tell me how to live
Without the threat of dying

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on November 14th, 2005