When Enough is Enough

Today was the first day and night he has been gone. Im going to work my way backwards through the day. The thing i need to talk about now is my fear. He lost power there because it is raining so hard and his phone just died. Im scared because they just had a hurricane there, and I’m worried another one is going to follow. I would never know if something bad happened to him. He couldn’t call to tell me what was going on. I don’t want him to get hurt. Its bad enough I have to do without him for a week, I could never imagine forever. It scares me. Even if he is going to be ok, I feel so bad for him, this is his vacation and the whole island doesn’t have power. The forcast calls for a chance of showers everyday. I hope it doesn’t get runined. He must be going stir crazy….no phone, no internet (which he is never not on) Im not sure if his battery died on his laptop or not…I hope he is doing ok, and hanging in there. I am worried. I got to text him that i might fall asleep and stuff and he wrote back ok and that was that. But truth is im exhausted, but worried now so i can’t sleep. I hope the power goes back on tonight or tomorrow just so he can tell me he is ok atleast and so he can enojoy his vacation.
After work tonight i saw Amy and told her he was on vacation and that i was taking it hard. She said that it was healthy separation, and i know that, but it still hurts…..badly. I just miss him so much.
Today i was at the store all day, and have so much to do, and not enough time to do it. I got a phone call last night that the girl i work with, her mom passed away so she won’t be in for a while. It hurt me when she told me, well i hurt for her is what i mean. Knowing what that is like and going through it makes me know what she is going through kinda. No one’s loss is exactly the same, but the general feeling is I think. And i wish she didn’t have to go through it.
Unfortuantly now there is 1 person that works there so i will be at the store all week. I have a software presentation to give tomorrow to someone looking to buy a store, or that one. Which is fine except im the only one there tomorrow and if people come in, it will be hard. Oh well i will just do my best and that is all i can do. I’m going to be happy to go to the restraunt tomorrow geez.
I came home today and there were 3 bills in the mail….and i don’t have the money for them yet. I got lost 2 times today while driving for no apparent reason, and thought someone stole my laptop bag out of my car because for the longest time i didn’t realize it was on my shoulder. Oh well…..
This is going to be a long hard week, i may as well just accept that and do my best..thats all i can do really.
I feel better now that i talked about it a little. I just hope I hear from him soon so i can atleast not worry as much about him. I love him….i really do..i’ve never ever ever felt this way……its the best feeling, but at the moment cause im worried and scared, its the worst feeling too But i am dealing better than i thought i would…i haven’t cried today so thats a good sign, then again it is only day 1. Oh well day by day. I really really wanted to drink tonight and i didn’t so I was proud of myself for that.

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on October 31st, 2005