When Enough is Enough

So apparently he sent me text messages and i didn’t get them. I finally texted him to say that i just hoped he was ok, he wrote back saying he was going to light a fire and make candles alone….my heart absolutely dropped…..All i could think of was what did i do…what happened…and that i knew this was going to happen, i knew it was too good to be true. I called him and said why? Thats when he told me he texted me, i told him that he said he was going to call and that i didn’t get any of his messages, i started crying…..im not mad at him but im just sooo upset now its the worst feeling…i still feel like i lost him, i still feel like he left me, he told me he loved me and wouldn’t do that and that he was sorry for not calling when i didn’t write back. I believe him but i still feel like he was just with someone else, i still feel all those bad things i thought, i still feel as though he is in the hospital…why oh why does my mind have to work like this. i told him i thought he was never going to call me ever again, and thats how i felt…..im crying again wtf!!!! Oh well i took my meds, i will do work now and then i hope i can sleep, i just want to be in bed and never come out….i was just soooo happy, i was handling stress and anxiety better, and now i can’t. GGrrr…i make myself mad.

Filed under: No More Egg Rolls on October 20th, 2005